I have been thinking about this post for a wile... wondering whether I should post it, much less write it. I don't know if it will make seance to anyone but since its my blog i guess it doesn't really matter. This post helped my bring some of my feelings to words in this post she said
"I feel like wearing this mother suit is getting less uncomfortable and foreign everyday. It slowly but surely doesn’t feel like I’m trying to wear pants as a shirt anymore."
OK now to try to explain how I feel... I guess I feel like I am already wearing a "mom suit" I feel like a mother that doesn't have children yet. not like a mother who has lost a child or had a miscarriage, because I haven't, and I don't ever want to experience that kind of pain.
I feel like all I was ever meant to be is a mom, But to be a mom you have to have a child first. I feel like i am whereing the "mom suit" to the wrong party or something like that
like a person who always wants to were a Halloween costume but there are in church.(weird comparison I know, but thats the best I could think of)
I feel Like someone who is window shopping. I see the beautiful "suit" and I can look at it, imagine myself in it, I can even try it on from time to time (with the help of nieces and nephews and other children) but I always have to take it off and give the "mom suit" back to its owner. I can wait until I can start to sew my own mom suit.